I don't know how to do this. I am retired but am now forced to work again at 64. Your comment struck a chord in my heart because your loss occurred five years to the day I lost my mom--my best friend. I pray for God to take me so I can be with him. I was there with family, in shock. He was different! He died at home after being at the hospital for 8 1/2 hours for chemo and radiation. But when darkness falls I always wish that God would heal my pain. It feels like someone ripped out my soul, shredded it and mixed it back in wrong. Best Wishes to all and peace to all. Nothing mattered to me. Grace A. Mandry. Then at the point they could do no more. Why have babies in cribs then?? My dad died unexpectedly May 3; then Rod 5 weeks later. My head tells me that I must carry on to fulfill his wishes, but my broken heart tells me I don't want to be here without him. My God knows how much I cry for him. He passed one week after bringing him home. We were together for 13 years, married 3. Sometimes I lock myself in the room to cry. We have no little ones so I'm left alone, fighting alone. He loved her. I knew from the moment he introduced himself on our first date, that this was the man I was going to marry. Made me feel mad, angry but sad and empty. Kill yourself when you are depressed? We met when I was sixteen and were together our entire adult lives, 32 years. We have two small children together. I keep telling myself to just breathe and put one foot in front of the other. This poem is rather lengthy, but you can share an excerpt from it at your sister's funeral. He was my John again. Then the cancer came and took my best friend. I still need him! My husband of 47 years passed away 10 months ago. He fell at home and I rushed him to the ER. I miss him a lot, more than anyone knows. We were never apart for more than a few days the entire 22 years. We were married almost 34 years I miss him so much Today is the 1st anniversary of my husband's death. It's been such a long time. May you and your children find strength! I learnt so much from him as we got married when I was only 18 and he 22. The emptiness I feel consumes me and as the days go by it gets harder and harder to go on. I miss them so much. He was gone so soon. Thank you to all my sisters in this agony of pain for your sharing. Best I Miss You Poems 1 A Memory by Lola Ridge 2 The Sea of Glass by Ezra Pound 3 Dove, Interrupted by Lucie Brock-Broido 4 The Wife's Lament by Anonymous 5 Bei Hennef by D.H. Lawrence 6 Romance Sonmbulo by Federico Garca Lorca 7 Time does not bring relief; you all have lied by Edna St. Vincent Millay 8 I Cannot Live With You by Emily Dickinson Our two children who need me to make them feel safe are the only thing that keep me going every day, but there's still a huge piece of me that I feel like I'll never get back. I felt physical pain all over my body the first two weeks after his death. I'm so heartbroken and devastated. It just seems like it is not real. I took him home and had hospice in our house. All I know is one day we will reunite in Heaven. My family just wants me to get on with what's left of my life, but it's so hard. It's all a bad dream. I don't have many friends and I don't work. He left for work on Monday at 5am, said goodbye and he loved me, and he would see me later, but I never did. In the morning I will be in Mont Rose cemetery for his first anniversary in heaven. Love you. Will the pain ever go away. I miss him so much. I had to tell my story to deal with the memory of first day of his last week on earth. No longer in our life to share, but in our hearts, you're always there. He was 47. I am blessed, thankful to have had him for so long. I'm not really sure how to feel or act. They have their lives. We were together for almost 40 years, married 35. I am in my mid-60s. It can meddle with your work, and you may lose focus when you miss their smell, warmth around you, and touch. We had no children together, but I am blessed to have his 5 grown children and families in my life. We kept our spouses' memories alive and celebrated everything with their families also. I prayed with so many others for him to stay with us. He was rushed to hospital and had two operations. It's so hard to be without him: his touch, his arms holding me in bed so peaceful, waking in the morning with him. I miss him so much. I'm so lost and angry, and I feel like I might be losing my mind, and more than anything else I feel like I need to be a better person for my babies. Some days I don't want to go on. Hospice has bereavement counseling and I am going in March. I have never lived on my own. Nothing helps to relieve your pain. I miss you so much! I'm not ok - but it's normal - normal to feel empty, sad, alone in a crowd, angry, guilty, abandoned, loved, left, different, impatient and no idea who you are or what you like as a single person. .. a love that deep and strong can never be gone. I have lost the will to live and was sent home from the hospital and wasn't with him when he passed away. That's who he was - he always thought of my first. I cry day and night some places I can't even go it was our place. I wear his wedding ring on a chain. I see you wish the days away, begging to have me home, So I try and send you signs, so you know you're not alone. We had no life insurance. I want to be happy because my husband would have wanted it that way. I lost my husband just 2 days ago. I find myself looking for him everywhere I go and in everything I do, but he isn't there and it hurts so much. I'm so used to depending on him. July 22, 2016, my birthday, I lost the love of my life, Edwin Gonzalez. It hurts so much, I know, but I am also trying to be strong. He had been battling cancer for three years. We were in shock. I know God is near, and I continually pray to feel his presence to get me through step by step. I Miss your poem for him in Jail. The silence is deafening to my ears. They had a son and 2 daughters. There is no one to talk to. Now I only have his Sister to remember him with and even she imposes limits. I can't know how that feels and all I can say is that is so very sad and I hope that it softens having your daughter with you. I can't bear this pain, but I will if someone can promise me that he will be there waiting when my time comes. I was 40 when Lou and I married. He was admitted to Bendale Acres Long Term Care at the age of 67. I love you Jason! Now it's November and Thanksgiving was closing in. People expect me to be happy and I try to put on a mask but the moment I am alone the mask comes off and cry and talk to him. I pray every day I will get through this. I feel like I'm suffocating slowly without him. We were supposed to grow old together, watch our children grow into adulthood, marry and have children of their own. We were out having drinks with friends and decided to go back to their place. I love you a lot! My condolences to you and your family. On Dec.1 2016, I lost my best friend of 34 years. I know I must keep going, but most times it feels impossible. My faith in God and loving family and friends are faithful in their support, and I am grateful, but nothing at this time removes or lessens my grief. I left my whole family to be with him. I want to honor him every minute of every day. This lemonade stand is closed. He pulled off the shoulder of the highway to secure a metal crate on the back of our pickup. I don't know how to move on from this. God bless all of you who are suffering a loss of a loved one. His eyes, oh his eyes, I don't know how to do this without him. Until I am united with him once more, I will go on with my life as best as I can. My remaining son and I just stood there and cried. He got up in the morning and got dressed and went outside like he normally did every morning to get some air. People think I have moved on but I am not sure I ever will! And evening comes, We were married 10 years. It's been almost nine months since his passing. I'll never be able to cope with this loss. We were together for 14 years since I was 15. When we arrived he got out of the car and said, "I think I'm having a heart attack." Don't know how I am supposed to live without him. Today I fare-welled him in a beautiful service. My life has also not been that easy, and I always felt he was a gift to me to make me finally feel safe. I suffer from anxiety and depression because l miss him so much. I lost my husband on Aug 09, 2017. I don't even know how to feel. The doctor told me he was going to dive again and he would not recover. I terribly missed him, super missed. I miss him so much. Thank you for letting me share a little bit on the loss of my best friend, my rock, and my love. I am sorry for the loss of your husband. How much I miss you. I lost my husband in August 2017, and we have a 14 year old. We miss you so much. I have comfort that he woke to use the bathroom and woke me to tell me he loved me and give me our usual 2 kisses! Memories is what is left. My love, my sweetheart. People say time heals, but I found I feel worse. Will I ever stop wanting him to be with me?| I just don't know how I will survive without him. We both worked almost all our lives for it and this was our payback. Kiss more, hold each other longer, and don't sweat the small stuff, for none of us are promised tomorrow. I love you, Gilbert, forever! We got him to the hospital and the ammonia in his brain was almost 3x the normal. I have no words to express the emptiness I feel. It's hard because he was just so amazing and he loved me unconditionally. He was Papa and always will be. I miss him so much, and so much is on me. Blessed be the Lord. They were in a car accident together. He was 53. I used to read stories like I am reading here and think to myself I can't imagine ever having to live my life without my soulmate and love of my life. He was my everything. It was horrible when they canceled any further treatments as my wife thought they quit on her. He was enjoying the life. You need some type of spiritual guidance to make it day to day. He passed away in my arms in our home, exactly where he wanted to pass. When I read what you wrote it was strikingly similar to how I feel. If ever wife was happy in a man, Compare with me, ye women, if you can. Hava. He was my one and only. Do not visit my grave. Sometimes I feel I'm Okay but no, I'm still in pain. My husband of 30 years passed away on December 20, 2015. Our children became brothers and sisters. Without a clue, We had a very hard time, but I was happy with him. We had so many plans, so much to see and do. He was told when he was 48 he had liver cancer. I still miss him more than ever. I can't bring myself to cancel his cell phone, because his voice mail is the only place I can hear it. To have what we had was so special. He began asking me who I am. May 19 will mark the 5 month mark of his death and it is also our secondary anniversary, even though we were only married 2 years we were together for almost 25 yrs. We miss you every second of every day. I have met a wonderful man to love and adore all of us, including 4 grandkids, and in 14 days we are getting married. I just lost my husband 11 days ago in a tragic accident. We planned and raised 3 boys. With the age different we knew that he may not be here forever. It still doesn't seem real. Leslie Woody. It was so sudden, and he was gone in 5 weeks. I, too, was there as Joe took his last breath. And life is no longer standing still but purpose is unfolding. I cared for him for 5 months. I lost my husband 2 weeks ago. I'm good at pretending to be o.k. I stumbled across this site, and I really love the messages people share about their loss. I wish I was the one to have found him so my son could have been spared such pain. The one that will be on our side no matter what happens. I find many widows and widowers feel like they're floundering as time passes. I still and always will wear my wedding ring on the correct hand. He was my everything. I want you to take away my fear. Can one really make lemonade out of the lemon of losing a husband? Nothing makes me happy because my love is not here with me! On the same day, unknown to my son, my daughter gave birth to her son. No one informed us of what happen to him until we found it from our family phone tracker. Nobody could take his place because he was a one of a kind. The hardest thing I had to do was come home and tell our children, 16 &18, that their dad is never coming home. My husband died April 25th and I am so lost. My head was on the pillow next to his at home when he took his last, quiet breath. I miss him so much. I will love and miss you forever, Paul. Just went to his doctor. I cry alone, at night because no one wants to hear I am not doing ok..thank you for sharing ladies, it is comforting knowing I am not alone. I need him to help me guide our kids. I'm trying to be the great pretender so others think all is okay. Featured Shared Story My husband who was a professional boxer developed dementia at age 57 from undetected brain injuries. BUT I can't get over the emptiness or the loneliness I feel without him by my side. I still have our marriage certificate application stamped by the County of Sonoma waiting for us to turn it in when we got officiated. He took care of me when I needed things, he took care of me when I was ill, then it was my turn to do in return for him. We did it, we did it, we would say. I am going on hour by hour again. I understand completely how you feel, and you're right, you NEVER stop missing a loved one, especially your husband. His GI doctor gave him orders for a gallbladder ultrasound. Now I have a spiritual relationship with him. Our kids are all grown and they are all wonderful but the empty house when I come home at the end of the day is almost unbearable. I am coming up on the one-year mark, and I still don't want to believe he is not coming back home. He wasn't feeling well before we went to Florida and I said, "Do you think we should go." I never could have made it without God. Pray for you always.RIP. Katie, I don't know what else to say.I just want him back so much! I'm so heartbroken. Bless all of you so new in your grief. 13. Now I see a hint of new purpose unfolding as a flower petal captured on a camera lens, each day a hint more revealed. I lost my husband at 47. I do not want a replacement mateI want my best friend and soul mate back here beside me. Elliot was my Husband, Lover, Friend, my person in every sense of the word. I am a 60-year-old woman, and like you, living alone. I lost him and myself. I felt so safe with him. I lost my husband of 13 years suddenly on March 15, 2019. ~Joan. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer on Valentine's Day. I still feel alone sometimes. All other content on this website is Copyright 2006-2023 FFP Inc. All rights reserved. I still miss him and still wish it could've been me. Taking one day at a time, often with tears streaming down my face even when I am remembering good memories. He never made it home. I had 2 days to come up with $2,000 before they even started his services. Now it's just a lonely hell. God bless you and your son. I cry every day and can't believe . I didnt have the best childhood and I was bruised before I met him, but he just accepted me, through everything. It's those questions every day and no answers. I'm sorry for your loss. He passed away in his sleep from congestive heart failure. My sweetie died September 4, 2017. He had gotten up to sit in his recliner, and I was still sleeping. I am still grieving. See more ideas about grief quotes, miss you mom, grief. I am only 62 and I just wish I had some kind of closure although I do not think that would help either. To my immediate right 40 feet away, my husband laid face down not moving his legs crushedhe died instantly. I wish I had answers for you, but the reality is everyone is broken from the loss, and like my counselor said - you will never be the same person, but you will never lose the connection to your loved one either. She was 12 & a half years old. My husband of 46 years passed away unexpectedly one month ago. He had kidney cancer that metastasized to his brain. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him & imagine what life could be if he was still here. We made plans to go on vacation, and after our vacation we would go straight to our surgeon to get my tubes untied. As I read this, my skin spiked as your story and mine sound very similar. The shadows climb the wall. We were together 24/7. There are reminders everywhere. We thought we had all the time in the world to work out our problems. He was someone who truly loved me and my daughter. {{{hugs}}} to you and your son. I lost my husband six months ago on a day like today and this this is exactly how I feel. You see, he was widowed when we met and I was divorced. John. I try to smile and put on a "happy" face for the world. He was shot to death right in front of me. He's the lucky one. If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee. My heart aches so, but I have hope in knowing he is alive in heaven, waiting to see us again. I can't believe it. Great poem!!! They are buried across from each other. Right now, sad and lonely with nothing to look forward to of years more. We had the perfect plan. He was a wonderful husband and father. My whole being aches; I am consumed with thoughts of our life. Your words dropped into my heart like pebbles into a pool, Rippling around my breast and leaving it melting cool. I turned on the light and tried to wake him up but he stopped breathing. My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces. It's not a day that goes past that I do not think of him. After getting our butts kicked so many years with the usual trials of a tough financial life-we had it made. He had a bypass surgery - it went fine. God bless you and give you comfort in the days ahead. My husband was unresponsive when they got him at the Hospital, Doctors came out to tell me that he passed away. I miss him so much. My diet . Thank you for giving us life and sharing your smile. Hi I lost my darling husband on 5 November 2013. Who is sadly missed. Nowadays l put on a happy front because l can't show how l really feel. I loved deeply, wondrously, and passionately. He was my rock, my everything. We were together for 30 years. The type of papa who plays and goes out for Tylenol in the middle of the night. I said in all the major hospitals he has been in he had rails! We were married 15 years, and he was 38 years old. I don't think you ever stop missing a loved one. My wife died 12 years ago. They thought it was just acid reflux. He had battled different health issues since 2008. How would someone "get over" love anyway? Not even going through it before prepared me for it. He then collapsed. My husband of 62 years just passed on February 11, 2019, just 3 weeks ago. 8. To all the widows that have written and shared their stories my heart breaks for you too. I find as the years go on my loneliness increases. Its been 27 days and feels like yesterday. I'm really not sure if this pain can heal. Thanksgiving dinner was at around 4 p.m. We gathered at our daughter's home. I miss him a lot, more than anyone knows. 12 yearsI can only imagine the pain and hurt. I feel totally lost, hurt and sad. Not once but twice. Yes the nights are hardest, sometimes you cannot sleep without some kind of help. He would have been 47, and in a few days it's our 27th wedding anniversary. Young kids, and we grew this far. He was my best friend, lover and husband. Paul died 6 weeks ago. Eventually we ended up in the hospital. Delirium, yes it came on his last week of life. The last few weeks he was in such pain, which he hid from me. People don't know the feeling of losing a husband until it actually happens to them. door even if it's just for one day. I suffer from MS and Epilepsy, and we spent the last 9 years together 24 hours a day and still laughed and carried on as if we had just started dating!! in public. Trusted him to not leave me or hurt or carelessly shove me aside. My husband passed on November 12, 2017, and your words are my life right now. I miss him so much, but I know he would want me to be strong for our children and grandchildren. D ko alam kailan ako mkaka move on. He had a stroke at work and a brain aneurism and he passed at the hospital. Screaming desperately, I called 911 and sent my children to get my neighbor. It is nearing 11 months and it feels like yesterday that the nightmare began. I expect much the same from my situation, and I have only lost my wife for 3 months! I wish you were here today, my love. No, I am not happy with God either. I do not wish this on anyone. That was the most painful part of my life. I am devastated. I felt helpless, horrified, and devastated! He collapsed at the airport and they took him to a nearby hospital. That will never happen, I am so in love with my husband and don't ever want that to change. We were married April 29, 2016. I am better than I used to be. We were together for 22 years. His health was worse as the days came and went. This has been so difficult. We were one. We lost him at the tender age 47 due to a heart attack. He would tell me he can't wait until he retires so he can buy a brand new blue Ford pickup truck and we can just relax and go riding! This was three years ago and still feels like yesterday. He was gone with half of my soul. He never had a new truck, and that's why I cry more because he never got a chance to enjoy one! Tomorrow would be the 2nd month that my husband passed away, 19 days after being diagnosed with liver cancer. I lost my John on 18 December 2008. I am so sorry for your loss. Our life together was still so full of promise and dreams of things to come. I am in the rain that fills your springs. I found him 30 minutes later. If we weren't on our bikes we would ride the bus or light rail. I'm waiting to see her again. We experienced all of the for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health before we even got married as he lived with end stage renal failure prior to us getting married. He had leukemia, and in spite of horrendous induction chemo, he went in less than 2 months. What example would I be giving them when they're growing up? I'm not sure that it will ever go away, but I cope with distractions. Just waiting for God to call me to be with my love again. I felt as if a hand touched me up my arm and across my chest. Then one day he was gone. I lost my 50-year-old husband. Nothing said has ever made me feel better about the sudden death of my husband who was also a father of our 3 young children. While in the hospital he fell. I lost my boyfriend when I was 13. For now, I am taking it hour by hour, day by day and hope that someday I will be able to think about him and smile instead of cry. I have so much guilt because I didn't see how ill he was and he wasn't telling me because he didn't want to upset me. I control what happens every day of the week so that I am not alone because the loneliness without my husband breaks me.